


Angel

by thatchoiboy



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: :(, Angst, Drug Use, M/M, Mention of Death, Sorry lovelies, alcohol use, just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-20 23:25:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14904189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatchoiboy/pseuds/thatchoiboy
Summary: Maybe Hwitaek was an angel after all. A beautiful mythical creature that came into his life to pick up his broken pieces and make him feel whole again, only to leave and crash it even more.





	Angel

  
Hyojong couldn’t remember the last time he saw him. It was as if he just vanished out of sight, never to be seen again. Hyojong couldn’t blame him, it was his fault after all. His mere existence was toxic to his perfect, _oh so perfect_ life. It was a sin itself that his dirty hands had touched someone so beautiful- _so godlike._ He felt like as if he stained him, as if he was like a speck of dust that needs to be wiped off.

He used to be everything he sees, everything he hears, everything he feels. _He_ was _his_ everything. But when he was gone, it was like the world came crashing down on him, like reality came to slap him in the face. The moments they used to share together became a vivid memory.

Hyojong wonders if he misses him, was he in pain too? He chugs on another bottle of soju, his hand grasping a worn out iPod, it looked like it would break if you held it too hard. Yet he can never bring himself to throw it away. It has _his_ songs after all. His shaky fingers scrolled through the list of songs, hovering over a certain one and without hesitation, he played it, placing his headphones on his ears and turning the volume all the way up.

He almost let out a sob, covering his mouth when he heard his voice. The voice that he hasn’t heard for so long. He should’ve known. He should’ve noticed how much pain he was in. He could’ve done something about it, he could’ve helped him. But he didn’t get the chance to, and he’ll probably never will.

His friends told him it wasn’t his fault, that he shouldn’t blame himself. But how can he not? He was his boyfriend, he was supposed to be there for him.

Hyojong couldn’t forgive himself, not when Hwitaek almost killed himself.

Maybe the truck should’ve hit him instead, he should’ve tugged Hwitaek out of the way before he had the chance to step into the crossroad with the red light. Seeing Hwitaek with blood on his stomach, head, legs, _everywhere_ , pained him. The small smile Hwitaek wore, looking at him with tired eyes, his lips mouthing _I love you_ before the ambulance took him away to the hospital; he hated it. If Hyojong could erase a part of his memories, it would be that one. He wanted to forget how much Hwitaek was in pain that day. He hated it and he especially hated himself for it.

_It should’ve been me._

He abruptly ripped the headphones out, not minding how it stung a little, because it didn’t matter, it didn’t compare to the ache that never left is heart ever since that day. His apartment faintly smells like Hwitaek anymore, and he hated how much he misses him. He opened a bottle of painkillers and forced them down his throat, finishing up his soju.

Hyojong knew he had problems from the start. He has been told of his eccentricness. Or how he looked like he murdered people. He was misunderstood by society and sometimes- even his so called ‘friends’.

And then an angel appeared to bring light back to his dark world. Hwitaek.

His body and heart screamed for him not to indulge himself with the angelic boy. But he was too selfish. He wanted Hwitaek to be his, to be part of his life.

And look where it got him.

Hyojong’s laugh echoed throughout the empty apartment. He drunkenly stood up from the couch and trudged down his bedroom- that clearly used to be theirs. He catches a glimpse of the ring he gave Hwitaek, _Love Dawn_ was engraved into it and Hyojong remembers the day he gave it to Hwitaek.

Hyojong never knew the reason why Hwitaek did it. He assumed it was because he couldn’t stand Hyojong anymore and didn’t have the heart to break it to him. He tried asking the doctors but they only told him that the information were confidential.

Hyojong misses Hwitaek. So much.

And he realized how little he knew about Hwitaek, as if he let a complete stranger into his life; though the funny thing is that stranger _gave_ him a reason to live.

Maybe Hwitaek was an angel after all. A beautiful mythical creature that came into his life to pick up his broken pieces and make him feel whole again, only to leave and crash it even more.

Maybe Hyojong should feel blessed, but all he wants is to hold Hwitaek one last time.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> this took quite a turn.. but i hope you guys liked it~ T^T  
> i’m still improving my writing and fighting my writer’s block~  
> twt : @myhuiniverse


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